I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
