Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Houston, we have a squirter
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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