Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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