then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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