Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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