is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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