I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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