Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize