well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
