Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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