the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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