I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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