Me. At least after what I've been through.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
