I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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