I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She announced her abortion via fbk
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
