he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize