I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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