I accidentally had phone sex last night
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
