OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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