I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
