You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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