where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize