hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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