Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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