I think I won the penis lottery.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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