dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize