i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
