you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Randomize
