this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
