My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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