I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
