i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
