He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
