Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
