it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
