I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
