When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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