So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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