I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
