VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
