Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
