I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize