Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
