Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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