We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
