What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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