i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
