I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
