Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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