I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
