South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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