yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
