I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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