It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize