I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
