She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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