Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
