Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
