Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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