Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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