AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
