smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
