idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
