Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
