There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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