hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Nicole vs. Life
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
