Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
