Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
