Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
