Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
