I feel like I'm in dance class right now
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize
