I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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