haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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