There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I could fuck to npr.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
