Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
