Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I touched a dick in church today
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
