mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize