Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
North Korea, Best Korea!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
