I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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