We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
